Open Letter To This List... Now-- Ministerial Ethics

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As a young man aspiring for ministry (a vocation which never came to
pass for me as far as the pulpit is concerned)  I was taught that a man
of God should never place himself in a position as to be alone with ANY
non-family Female, for any reason

This included,  Counseling , Teaching an HBS, In a Car (picking them up
for church or any other purpose.?) , The Office ( including  his
secretary) , Certainly not a home (even to pray for them when sick) . 
Even a public Restraint is off limits.

3  reasons were given for this seemingly hard stance.

1.  To Quell Gossiping tongs of others who may witness the two together.
 
2.  Including possibly that of the female in question. 
 
A.  She could be  unhappy with the results of the meeting.  And as a
result start untrue talk "Hell hath furry like a woman scorned"  even if
the scorn was just her own presumption…)
 
B.  Some lady’s have …. Romantic Ideas about preachers.   There has been
more than one Preacher get into difficulty because a female got the
wrong Idea about something said, or for reasons of there own made up
stories which were pure fabrication… Even a Fabricated lie could destroy
the Minister in question…

3.  To  avoid possible temptations that could arise out of such
meetings.  We like to think preachers are somehow immune to temptations
(The Preachers are the worst with this concept of invisibility).  One
thing that all Preachers have in common is there humanity.  In nearly
all cases where a man of God falls into immorality (lets face it many
have) it starts innocent … a close friendship relationship,  a
sympathetic ear,  just someone to talk to when things are not  going
right at home…(even ministerial couples do not always get along as well
as we think. Sometimes they even get in arguments :o)) God forbid a
shoulder to cry on.  A Fall is nearly never planed.  nearly always it
just happens… there was opportunity..   a spur of the moment thing.  In
the space of a few minuets of weakness  of A man’s ministry and all its
possibility’s gone forever.   In the UPC  Adultery is unrecoverable sin
as far as his Organizational ministerial License is concerned. (and
justly so!)  This in addition to the resulting havoc it plays on
offending couples lives.  

Its just not worth taking the chance… Better to not let your self be
caught in a position where a fall COULD happen.  Its just not worth it! 

This is good policy for all saints. Especially those in leadership.  (We
become the target of the eneamy!)  This policy Includes (doubly so)
single folks (especially in dating!)

Some may think this is old fashioned or overly strict teaching… that
more trust should be put in people

….. Oh?   I invite you to study the life of David… A man after Gods own
heart!  And yet… he fell
its interesting to note that David was not  a young man he was … over 50
when he fell into sin with Bath-Sheba. 

You might say… Oh… that would never happen to me… You better watch out! 
Given the right circumstances…… it could.  Its best to avoid the
circumstance’s.

As fore the Ministers wife, She should keep her mouth shut! She should
be silent observer only Unless she is doing or helping with the
counseling.  ( I do not  believe that only the Pastor can counsel.)  
She should never discuss  a persons private life with anyone with out
that persons consent. With only two occupations …


1.  God

 
2.  The Paster should NEVER be kept in the dark as to any counseling
done in the church, Whether by his wife, or any other leader in the
Church…  Any time I am involved in a counseling session, I am quick to
inform the person or persons being counseled that nothing is secret from
the Paster.

I do a lot of personal work.  My wife and I are strongly into home Bible
Study, (soulwinning)  I’m careful to follow these rules,  Our Car and
P.U. are jokingly called Harvey’s church CAB  Few services go by where
are car and sometimes the truck to are filled with folks… sometimes more
than one trip. If for some reason my wife is not available and I have to
pick up a lady I always take someone with me.

Mike Harvey