[vlocasci@teamtac.com: More Humor]

• Messages sorted by:[ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ]

------- Start of forwarded message -------
Return-Path: vlocasci@teamtac.com
From: vlocasci@teamtac.com
X-Lotus-FromDomain: TAC
To: rj@eli.elilabs.com, Jonathan.Toews@nike.com, r-locascio@nwu.edu,
        bjbartel@pacificcoast.net
Date: Wed, 12 Nov 1997 09:48:05 -0600
Subject: More Humor
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii

Only the real wackos can appreciate this one.  FEEL INCLUDED, I LOVED IT.
- ---------------------- Forwarded by Vito LoCascio/South/SSR/HP/TAC on
11/12/97 09:46 AM ---------------------------


Jared Jackson
11/11/97 08:51 AM

To:   HP_SSR
cc:
Subject:  More Humor


Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire
in the craft it sank--proving once and for all that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton
fields and never amounted to much.  The second one, naturally,
became known as the lesser of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up
to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a
beer?"   The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other.
One says to the other, "Are you all right?"  "No, I lost an
electron!" "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm positive!"
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's novocaine
during root canal work?  He wanted to transcend dental medication!
A group of chess players were standing in the lobby discussing their
recent tournament victories.  After about an hour, the manager came
out of the office and asked them to disperse.  "But why?", they asked,
as they moved off.  "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts
boasting in an open foyer."
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a
hazelnut daiquiri on his way home.  The bartender knew of his habit,
and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.  One
afternoon,as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed
to find that he was out of hazelnut extract.  Thinking quickly, he threw
together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.  The
doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and
exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry", replied the
bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to
eat. He came across two men.  One was sitting under a tree and
reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.  The
lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book & devoured him. Even the
king of the jungle knows readers digest and writers cramp.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.  He sent in
ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would
win.   Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
------- End of forwarded message -------