Assorted nyuk, nyuk's

• Messages sorted by:[ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ]

        A telephone repairman was working late in a big office
building and became lost.  After a long search of the rambling
first floor to find an exit, he spotted a woman at the end of
a corridor.
        "How do I get outside?" he asked.
        "Dial 9," she replied.


The repairman was examining a broken window. He looked at it for a while
and then said: 'It's worse than I thought. It's broken on both sides.'


        It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a
busy intersection.  Traffic quickly piled up in all directions while a
woman rushed to help him.  When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a
man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right
honey, I've had a course in first aid."
        The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse
and prepared to administer artificial respiration.  At this point she
tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about
calling a doctor, I'm already here."


        Just before a soldier made his first parachute jump,
his sergeant reminded him, "Count to ten and pull the first rip cord.
If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for the auxiliary chute.  After
you land, our truck will pick you up."
        The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped.  He counted to
ten, and pulled the first cord.  Nothing happened.  He pulled the
second cord.  Again, nothing happened.   As he careened crazily
earthward, he said to himself:  "Now I'll bet that truck won't be
there either!"


        Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson
on science.  She had explained about magnets and showed how they would
pick up nails and other bits of iron.  Now it was question time and
she asked, "My name begins with the letter `M' and I pick up things.
What am I?"
        A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother."



--                                            
 ______ ___   __ _____ __    __   __  __ tnally@iquest.net
|_    _|   \ |  |  _  |  |  |  |  \ \/ / tgnally@prairienet.org
  |  | |  |\\|  |  _  |  |__|  |__ |  |  T. Nally - "A M.I.M.E. is a
  |__| |__| \___|_| |_|_____|_____||__|  a terrible thing to waste."